108. Costa Breeze is Mourning 😭 (tissue warning)

Saturday 1/14- Fabiola the vet that was out to check on Breeze last Thursday got the blood results back from the lab and let us know that the tests show that Breeze is anemic (low iron) but everything else looked just fine. Fabiola suggested we pick up some iron supplements and a round of antibiotics for Breeze to help raise the iron levels and take care of any infection that she might be fighting, and see how things go from there. We had to run some errands and get some people food for Breeze’s new diet, so we ran into the store to get that taken care of, to the vet to get the meds, and then headed back home so I could spend the morning in the kitchen meal-prepping Breeze’s new doggy casserole. We are supposed to weigh everything out and she’s supposed to get a certain amount, so after it was all cooked I portioned the meals into separate containers so we knew what to give her. Breeze was getting some doggie hotdish of rice, sweet potato, carrot & chicken gizzard- if not for lack of seasoning, it would probably be pretty tasty for us too. Of course, Breeze loves people food and would happily just keep eating more and more if we’d let her but the goal is to supplement her dog food, not transition her to people food. It ended up raining in the afternoon so we didn’t do too much else today. Even though we are supposed to be out of the rainy season, I guess it still just wants to hold on, granted it was just a light rain. At least we don’t have those hot dry afternoons where it feels like you’re in an oven yet, but we know that is coming just around the corner. 

It probably tastes pretty good. At least its high in Iron and carbs. Its what Breeze needs

Sunday 1/14- Breeze is steadily getting worse. Although she loves her people food, she isn’t eating very much of it but at least she is drinking water. We think that she might be having a hard time drinking, though, because when she does, she is lapping it very loudly and it's almost like she can't get it fast enough. We have noticed that she is developing little cysts all over her body that weren’t there the day before. She started out with just a few, but it seems like each day new ones appear.

Monday 1/16- Ramie went to Alturus this morning for his regular volunteer day and even though Breeze has been lethargic the last few days, she still got very excited when Ramie came home, just like she always does. She was lying in the car port waiting for him all morning, like she always does. We noticed that she is becoming very picky with her food and is picking out the meat, and maybe a little bit of the carrots, and leaving the rice and sweet potato behind. 

Not feeling good but she isnt going to miss dad coming home!
Mom, when is dad coming home?

Tuesday 1/17- Geoff came by early this morning to borrow something from Ramie and Breeze ran out of the house and was barking and jumping with excitement when Geoff pulled in, that was nice to see! Other than when Ramie came home yesterday, she hasn’t been excited about much of anything these last few days. By the afternoon she had barely eaten anything. We’re still trying to give her antibiotics, but since she’s not eating, I don’t think they are agreeing with her stomach and it’s making her feel even worse.

Wednesday 1/18- Breeze always either sleeps on her pillow in our bedroom or on the couch in the living room. She started in our room last night but moved to the living room at some point during the night, but just laid on the floor next to the couch like she didn’t have the energy to actually jump up on top of it. A short while after I woke up this morning she moved from near the couch to her dog dish to get a drink of water, laid down next to it and didn’t move from where she laid down all day. After realizing that she wasn’t going to go anywhere, we brought her pillow into the living room so she could lay somewhere comfy and we had to lift her up and help her onto it. She has completely stopped eating and she no longer can stand up on her own. Ramie called Fabiola and she was in the area and came out within the hour. Fabiola checked her over and once again touched her stomach and Breeze flinched very badly. We’ve never seen Breeze flinch with pain before so we knew something was seriously wrong. The vet gave Breeze a shot of painkillers and left us two more syringes of pain killers to give her later that night and the next morning. We also pointed out that there have been a lot more cysts that have appeared since she was last here. 

We knew that the inevitable was coming and we hated to see our Breeze in pain. We were doing everything that we could to keep her as free of pain and as comfortable as possible. Breeze was still drinking a lot of water, although now she can’t even get up to get it herself. We have to bring it to her and lift her head to help her drink, but we also realized that she hasn't been able to get up to go outside herself since yesterday, so we knew she had to go. Since she was laying on her pillow, we each grabbed a side and carried her outside to the edge of the grass on her pillow, then Ramie helped lift her onto her feet and into the grass to go to the bathroom, she stood for a few seconds and then just collapsed on the ground to finish peeing. It is so painful to see our puppy dog this way and it was really sinking in that she wasn’t going to be with us much longer. We let her spend the rest of the day out on the deck with a view of her little kingdom because we know how much she loves to be outside. We know that Geoff & Tracy love our doggy too, so we let them know what was happening. Geoff had seen her just a couple of days ago when she was still somewhat her old self, but Tracy hasn’t seen her for a while, so she came down this afternoon to sit with us and Breeze for a while. When Tracy left, we brought Breeze back into the house and we laid with her for the rest of the evening. Breeze has always been very loyal and wants to be with her people, so at bedtime we moved her back into our bedroom where her bed has been since we moved into our house. It was unsaid between the two of us, but we were hoping she would just pass away peacefully in her sleep.

Thursday 1/19- When we woke up this morning Breeze was there on her pillow looking up at us. She could barely lift her head but her eyes were following us. We moved her out to the living room, gave her another shot of pain killer and some water but she threw up the water shortly after she drank it. We moved her back out to the deck again so she could see something else other than the inside of the house. We brought her out to the grass to go to the bathroom again, and Breeze did end up walking a few steps, went to the bathroom, but then fell face first into the cuneta. Ramie tried to catch her but wasn't expecting her to fall that direction. He carefully picked her up and brought her back to her pillow and again, we just laid there with her. There were a lot of tears this morning and we knew that a decision had to be made. It wasn’t really a decision, though, our doggy was in pain, things were only getting worse, and we hated to see her like this. Ramie let Fabiola know that today would be the day and we asked her to come out when she had the availability. The 3 of us continued to lay together on the deck, Breeze on her pillow and at least one of us within an arm's length away. 

It was a little while before Fabiola could make it, but less than 10 minutes before Fabiola arrived at the house, Breeze stood up and walked a few steps into the house and laid down on the carpet just inside the door where she had laid so many times before. I don’t know where she was headed or why she decided that she wanted to get up and try to walk but the rug was as far as she made it. When Fabiola walked in the house Breeze sat up, barked at her a couple times like she would have done any time someone visited before, and then quietly laid back down. It was about 10:30am when Breeze passed away peacefully, finally pain free and with both of us by her side. We picked a sunny spot in our yard (she loved laying in the grass and the sun) and laid her to rest here at Casa Costa Breeze. Since one of her favorite things to do was to go for a ride, we hung her tag from the rear-view mirror in our truck so she would always get to go with us for all of the rides.

Friday 1/20- It's a very somber day here at Casa Costa Breeze and we are both struggling with Breeze’s passing. I had to work of course, and thankfully that helped keep my mind somewhat busy. Ramie really struggled since Breeze was always a daddy's girl and by his side. We are so thankful for our good friends Geoff and Tracy, who knew how much this was affecting us and invited us to go out for dinner to get us out of the house. We met them at one of our mutual favorite places, Los Gatos Locos, for some good food and a much needed drink. I have no doubt that emotions will be very fragile for quite a while and that there are many more tears that will be shed, but we know that our girl had a great life, that she made our life so much happier, and that she will be there waiting for us on the other side of the rainbow bridge. 

Pura Vida Breezy girl, until we see you again. 💜